FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Debbirooni 2004-07-09 ch 1,   | ::gasps for air:: Wow! How do you describe such a gargantuine (sp) think as a supernova (especially in a haiku?!?!)?... well, you sure did it! I love how you capture the color of a supernova as a bleeding rainbow, the imagery is just beautful in this haiku. I love how you use melded, because it makes me think of the heat of a supernova, which just emphasizes your topic more. And I love how you say it's running from it's fate... seems the stars do it just as much as ppl try to.. LoL... This haiku was awesome! You condensed a complex topic into 17 syllables, and the imagery was just... breathless... not much more to say! Keep on writin'! -Debbirooni |
| Melancholy Butterfly 2004-06-15 ch 1, | If truth be told I have never actually seen a supernova, although after your wonderful haiku I'm quite inclined to search a picture of it. From the very first line the words "bleeding rainbow" had such an impact on me I was stunned for surely three seconds, just forming the spectacular image within my mind. I like your choice of the word "melded" in the second line, as well as your conclusion of the haiku. Well done! P.S. In the last line it should be "its" not "it's". |
| la nuit, mes yeux t'eclaire... 2004-06-13 ch 1, | great description of a super nova. i have such a girly fascination with stars and such, it's wonderful. stars and cigarettes. the only constructive bits: "it's" should be "its" as it isn't a contraction but possessive in this case. and melded is an awesome word, but it suggests something being fixed, so if the star was fixed to the sky, could it really run? i know it's most likely metaphorical or whatever. just felt like giving a quick, grammatically incorrect rant. :) |
| Sarika 2004-06-11 ch 1, | Nice haiku! Never sen one on this particular subject before. I love the line "bleeding rainbow". - Sarika |
| Dracula, Lord of the Vampir... 2004-06-11 ch 1, | Cool description. I've never seen one though. |
| MR.SEAN 2004-06-10 ch 1, | I like picture it paints, you have some very very good words in this, one. KEEP WRITTING HAIKU! :) |
| Cry Tears of Darkness 2004-06-10 ch 1, | neva saw one but covered it in astronomy class :P nice poem |
| floorcollision 2004-06-10 ch 1, | excellent :) |
| CW-nerd-12 2004-06-10 ch 1, | woah. FUnky. only thingie: you have the wrong its. The its you have is a contraction of "it is." you need the its without the apostrophe. |