wow, i like the way it flows, brillient, iv never thought of such imagery...keep it up! beautiful

Very good, but the swearing made it vulgar and immature.
Try again

I loved it. The metaphor was awesome. Especially the wrapping paper one. Mucho Grandes

Ooh, very chilling. This poem is a good one, I love the ending :
Before my cover is…how do you say?
Blown.
(not that i needed to tell *you* what the ending is) Good work!

i think you did an awesome job. i love the imagery and ending. keep up the great work!

I like the metaphor. It was good, but could've been better. When I first started I was like "Oh brother, another WannabePsycho?" But it was more than that. I like how the whole poem flowed (It wasnt' choppy or boring). But it could've been better. It could've had a littler more lines on how trapped the narrorator felt.

Great little poem. I only have one thing to say. In your line, "And soon you'll all loose interest" it should be "lose" not "loose." But everyone makes mistakes with grammar and spelling, that's part of the writing experience. Great job!
Happy writing!
Tk.T

haha. this is brilliant. i love the last two lines... haha. "before my cover is... how do you say?/ Blown." haha. brilliant. keep up the WONDERFUL work... seriously.
Thanks so much for the review! it's reviews from my fellow fictionpress-ers that keep me writing! Thanks again!
E. Hisifithith

Another great poem, yet i'm not really crazy about the language. Stuff like that has no point, and can sometimes take away from the poem's meaning.

whoa wasn't too crazy bout the language but hey, this was a great poem i love the description, it's kinda eerie, just the way I like it! WRITE ON!
-glitch- _

Wow, awesome tone, and very creative with all of your metaphoric phylos' ..oh thanks for reviewing my song :P

Very original and witty, i like the metaophors too.

Love the imagery, love the cynical tone to it.

You just put how my life feels right now into words. I love the imagery. Awesome Job ;)