Reviews for To the Victor the Spoils

Reviews For: To the Victor the Spoils

Isawa-Ryoma 2004-09-05 ch 1,	abuseHow sad, how horribly sad ... true, the shaman was driven to the last resort, and perhaps it was the price to pay, but ... how sad. Suddenly, a part of me wants to ask if the death of the children was necessary, and not the death of the shaman in return for the power invoked. Good writing, as always, WereCat. I won't go into the grammatical points, since they've been taken up by the others. I'll go back and slough off this sadness for the kids, even if they were fictional...
ayliannah 2004-08-23 ch 1,	abuseHm, this inspires some deep thought, what is given is always returned maybe? Although there are a few minor errors...not many, mostly at the start of the piece, the story is quite whole. It is not your best work, but i don't think that this will dissuade me from reading anything else. This story does have an eerie feel to it, well done.
The baava Project 2004-08-17 ch 1,	abuseGreetings, Werecat! crosses fingers and hopes FP.com behaves . . . I've been in a helpful mood lately, so this review will be full of things . . . that I hope are helpful and not annoying! laughs As always, you are free to ignore me. ^_~ [Should the warriors {see} him lose heart, what was left of their courage would be seriously damaged.] [No one could ever doubt their valor{,} but in this forgotten part of the island they were significantly outnumbered and they had watched their homes burn, their kinsmen fall and their families {} despair.] ~ This is something that I've been told, but I'm not one hundred percent sure on it - in fiction-writing, a semi-colon should never be followed by a conjunction. ^_^;; [Their slings and hatchets were of LITTLE use against the heavy armored invaders and there was LITTLE hope of outside help.] ~ Just pointing out a bit of redundancy. Yes, I'm nitpicking, sorry. ^_~ [Many others lay dead or wounded and as a shaman's apprentice Kleron had done {everything} in his power to assist those in need.] ~ That's just a suggestion - it would be more common to say this. [Fleshless lips brushed his ears, whispering in forgotten tongues{,} and unseen talons reached out to grasp him and drag him deeper in{to} the mists.] ~ I added the comma because the phrase "whispering in forgotten tongues" only modifies "fleshless lips" and not "unseen talons." [And somewhere between dream and waking, while the remnants of his nightmares still lingered on, he caught {a} glimpse of a {phantasmic} scene; under a deadly moon a crooked form stood on a crossroads, its long white hair floating {in} the midnight wind.] ~ Werecat, I know that your first language is Greek, and that my grasp of English is somewhat tremulous (laugh!), so please don't feel or think that I'm picking at you. ^_~ I could not find "phasmatic" in the dictionary . . . ? [All this and more he gathered, herbs soiled by blood and things that made common people grimace in disgust.] ~ SNICKER! ^_^ But this line made me think of Madame Tussaud searching for Marie Antoinette's head in order to paint her portrait . . . I must be COMMON! [Then he uncorked his flask of human skin and inhaled deeply from the dying breaths.] ~ I wonder, would that flask be thin and fragile, or made from many pieces of skin to make it thick? ^_^;; [Less than a living being and little more than a shadow{,} his new form floated just above {the} ground, riding the midnight breeze.] [His captain, his brothers in arms, his blood and his kin had perished during the nigh{t}.] ~ Just a small typo. ^_~ [But the pain just added to his determination as he slowly made his way uphill, above the native's town, leaving a fetid, bloody trail in his path.] ~ EW! Whoa, what a great, nasty description! This, werecat, is a story that gave me shivers. War, all around, is a messed-up undertaking. Your flair for irony and poetic justice is truly enthralling. ^_^ As always, I loved this! ja ne, LoK
giygas666 2004-06-25 ch 1,	abuseAh, sweet revenge... The guy was right: we are all going to die; little did he know his plan would backfire on him. A good case for why one should never trust death Daemons. "In the Old Tongue the word for surrender had a double meaning; this of shameful death." I like that. And what an...interesting set of ingredients for the ritual. I always find these little details about the world of Akretera the most enthralling. I wanted to point out a couple of typos: "He felt the cackle of an insane hug echoing inside his skull as he lost control of his body" I think this was meant to be 'hag', right? "His captain, his brothers in arms, his blood and his kin had perished during the nigh." It should be 'night'. "...he caught glimpse of a phasmatic scene; under a deadly moon a crooked form stood on a crossroads..." I've never encountered this word before, and it's not in my dictionary, so I got a bit confused. Maybe 'fantastic' would be a better choice? Just wanted to point these things out. Otherwise, this is a very creepy story...and of course the more gore, the better. And the little details you include are always the best. Thanks for the reviews, too.
Rai Kamishiro 2004-06-24 ch 1,	abuseDaed things are extremely happy. Cup of water hmm? I wonder how thirsty you'd have to be? Rai
Endless Nightmares 2004-06-21 ch 1,	abuseHello Werecat- Excellent little pice here, I enjoyed it. Its always nice to read new stories from you. Keep up the great work.
NewbiaTheElf 2004-06-13 ch 1,	abuseOh! Very creepy ending, good use of italics. While you write quite beautifully in terms for describing things, sometimes you use incorrect grammar or misspell a word. I don't mind since I know that English isn't your native language, but I think you should have used a spell checker.
Darwin 2004-06-13 ch 1,	abuseHey Werecat, Always happy to see something new from you! Oh this was excellent work! I love the fact that the Shaman, thinking he is helping his people,only ends up cursing all. Ironic in the extreme this piece of work. Your mind works in mysterious ways! Great stuff. Little things I noticed while reading: First paragraph (Should the warriors saw him...) should be see. And in the second section after the nightmare(Under cover of darkness Kleron Sneaked) it could be snuck. Just suggestions as usual...take em or leave em. I loved it, you are an excellent horror writer! Take care Darwin

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