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| TasteofRevenge 2004-10-18 ch 2,   | YAY! Paragraphs! My eyes don't hurt! XD j/k O yeah! Bloody feast of darkness! XD I'm just loving that line... 'number than liqiud nitrogen' ? I think it should be 'more' numb' but other wise that simile(sp?) stuck out to me...in a good way. @_@ I feel sorry for Carla...knew the death of her husband was soon but couldn't do anything about it. Sucks. Anywayz, good job on this chapter. Can't wait to read more. ^o^ |
| Blackening the Ivy 2004-08-23 ch 2, | luving it. blood... fun. more death pleez. |
| Silentwriter9 2004-08-22 ch 2, | o!! i like i like! you have some errors with tenses, spelling, and such... I would love to look at your chapters before you post them... =) if you are interested email me.(asilentreview@yahoo.com) I hope to hear from you =D. the plot line is really good waiting for the next update!! |
| Silentwriter9 2004-08-22 ch 1, | umm it bounces from one idea to the next EXTREMELY fast. It is a little hard to grasp. You need to make some paragraphs. Is the person's name "Osilalais" OR "Qsilalais" you use both... or is that two differebt people? that confused me. sounds interesting... |
| Caecilia Roth 2004-07-25 ch 1, | Write more this instant! Do it, because I say so. It's a very good story. And my whole "chess" poem, it's a metaphor. ^_^ |
| R.W. Zeppler 2004-07-17 ch 1, | Interesting... I liked it! |
| happy-go-lucky 2004-06-22 ch 1, | wow... i like the whole Journal perspectic (sp) well written...gee..i wish i had the talent to write fics, -_- ^^ Happy was hurr! |
| MorbidMan 2004-06-19 ch 1, | M... hmm... that was pretty good. Nice job. I'll try to remember to keep checking back. Could you review some of my stuff? That'd be swell. Nice job on this one here. |
| Blackening the Ivy 2004-06-18 ch 1, | awesome story. it sounds like it's going to b fun, all the death and evil stuff... is the immortal thing goin' to be a vamp? it probably is by the sounds of it, and your bio. ...i'm clinically insane... just thought you oughta know... |
| TasteofRevenge 2004-06-14 ch 1, | O.o Good plot. Where did you find the names? I always have problems with naming my characters. Um...paragraphs? It's so hard to read when it's just one big blob. If you did put in paragraphs on ur computer, but fp.net changed it like this, you have to double space between the paragraphs. It works, cause this has happened to me before. Also, if this is a journal entry, i think that Hasil would put more of his own thoughts into the entry, instead of just writing down what happened. i just thought you should add more of his feelings and thoughts. Oh! Is the immortal beast gonna be a vampire? Oh goody! |