sorry to sound mean, but spelling, ever heard of it?? (im in a bad mood. sorry) there are more sides to aging than this. there's aging gracefully, and in todays world, not aging at all! i would make this into three parts, this one, aging gracefully, and not aging, ending them all with the sentence in this one"Do we want to get old?"

a very nicely (yet grotesquely) done point from the side of realism.the theme can definitely be made into something more.