Well written but not my kind of party.

Wow, I actually managed to guess that the troll was his father before the plot even started informing that. I just got up walking, and imagined the end (because I'd been originally cut off during the 3rd chapter when I first started reading it and was forced offline).

I feel proud that I was astoundingly right... Aha!

I like the story, it's very good.

Another minor comment is a bit of amusement I recieved. I was initially cut off due to the fact that well... I was originally at my uncle (David Lopez)'s house. I felt the name being the exact same... (and he was over my shoulder when I'd read the name itself!) was amusing. I had to share.

Congratulations, by the way!

Sincerely signed, Anaka.

Damn man, I mean you are just soo good!! I am beginning to doubt myself here!! LOLI did not expect that ending, but loved how it turned out!! Way to go!!

I'm definitely going to finish reading this, it's very, very good so far. You use great descriptions and write very knowledgably. One thing I noticed: you said "in the on the farm," but other than that I didn't notice any problems. Great start. : )

Wow. You have a way with surprise and twist endings. I can see why he shot himself.. so that he would not have to kill others. Appropriate, especially for the man that gave his life up for someone he barely knew.

If this didn't make the cut on glimmertrain.com, they must of thought it was too dark for what they are looking for. I think the story is one of the strongest ones on here by far; this is a story I will say has a strong style behind it. I am curious about your story on the Reality Check contest. It is a very intelegent write to say the least.
I am publishing stories for an anthology of non-erotic horror as well as Sci-Fi and if you have a story that is 2200-2300 to 90 words, I will publish it. You should write a story for The House of Pain.com -- you have the talent and you know how to do a story that creates a creature.
Trolls are a character writers haven't played around enough with, and this story is one that really knows how to do it. I respect your ability to create suspense with the horror, and you do it really well.

Concerning ch. 1&2:
Im sorry about putting it so harshly, but I just hate slow expositions. You might've done good to leave it out.
Concerning ch. 3&4
I never knew you could write this good! This is written gold! It might not have made it all of the way, but I'm sure it went far! The only critical thing I have to say is "if they put the bathroom upwind, that means that the wind would blow all of the bathrooms 'fragrances' downwind to the campsite." Besides that, it was a definate favorite.

Hello- I like how you developed the troll. You described him well.

Hello- Its very cool your writing more. This has got to be the longest chapter, and longest written piece you have written. Anyway, keep writing, and goodluck on the next chapter.

Hello- Impressive chapter. Longer, and nicely done.

Sorry about the spacing, something got screwed up in the uploading of this chapter. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this. In case you haven't read my profile lately, I will be taking some time off from here to work on my second book. But do not fear, I will be back soon to share my twisted stories with you all again. Take care and, as always, keep writing.
**Slave**

(There is something slightly disconcerting about a grown man out urban-legend-hunting with two minors he's only just met, but that's just me, waivers notwithstanding.)
And never you mind the smarmy comments of the previous commentor. tsk!
Now I'm waiting to see exactly what there is to discuss between these two, er, characters, since I surely was not expecting that particular turn of events. Keep it coming, slave.

Not to be rude, but when does it start?
You need to learn to make a suspense that is real to every one, not just the writer.
My recomendation is a book:
"Writing and Selling Your Novel" by Jack M. Bickham.
-Buy it.
-Read it.
-Write about it.
Pay special atention to Chapter nine.
That's all I can tell you. except for:
READ IT!

Fascinating introduction. I love the account of Geronimo and the historical background (no, I don't know your American history!)- lends this urban legends tale some credibility. I look forward to reading more about the troll(s).

Slave- Good job on this. Reminds me of the movie Urban Legend, when you were explaining the stuff in the beginning. Keep up the good work, and stride for the best.