Jesus Christ... this is awesome. I spotted wuite a few grammatical errors, but the whole thing reads like a book by Stephen King. Great job. You're really going to go someplace with your writing.

this ain't pg... but it's still cool!
say, would you like to join my rpg? It's a sci fi about a futuristic telepath crisis. It's at geocities.com/phoenixscarlet/the_kith.html.