hm.. not bad. My only question is why you have chapter 1 and 2 posted together, but ok. o.O Never really a rule that you have to post each chapter separately (I think). Now that I think about it, the whole thing feels like a prologue. but heh, whatever.

the plot moves well enough. I also liked some of the analogies you made. Wheeness ^_^

good story, though the first question i would ask if i was turned is why me