okay, just a little something.

The description of the characters is off. We do not need to know who as a hot body, or a big butt. That do not give us anything.
also the little comment '. Everyone wonders why she’s so mute because she’s obviously pretty.' it strange. She has to speak because is she pretty. So if she looked like a cow, it would be alright to shut her mouth!

Oh hein, precise what you mean by island accents, there are many place that have specific slang that could be themed island accent, and each will give different effect.

So the character description look like weird. I know what they are wearing (and some girl even they bust size) but not realy they personality.
work on that

awesome start. way creepy. great descriptions. not trying to dig on you, but the scene with the circle seemed a little rushed, as did the thing in Arnesha's room. But, that's just my opinion. After all, I kindaa rush through stuff in my story too, so whatever. can't wait to see what happens. I am THE Shadow, Caryn Smoke.

I must say that your ending wins an award compared to all the other lame endings I've read. Yours was brilliant because you burned Billy, and Stabbed the She Cat. That was very intelligent. The whole story was good. It would make an awesome horror movie. It's original, and I love it. I hate it when people copy from writers they've already read without using their imaginations!Good Job!~Navaura~ Nubian Queen

Hey! wow this story waz kick **! the first story of yours i read was a youths vengance and i noticed that in the author notes you mentioned this story alot so i decided to read it...wow! so happy i decided to. please write more! P.S..you do need to watch the times, like for example: in chapter 13 when Sydnee shows up at waynes house after they were in Pams house..you said "A week later Wayne hears a knock at his door" then you said after sydnee and wayne were talking "Feeling bad about what he had done the night before" you kinda messed up on that..but totally awesome story!

OMGOMGILUVTHISSTORYITZHELACOOLKEEPWRITINMANIGOIN2REVUNEXCHAPTEROKBY!!1ONE11!!

OH god !! O.O Now I'm seriously freaked out ! I'm never going to try that ! No way in hell ! ::bites nails::

~ Noelle ~

I am so sorry I couldn't review to the other ones! So caught up with everything. But the ending...It was just all amazing! There was just all these turns and twists and it made it so exciting. Excellent writing! I look forward to more by you!

I'm glad this story turned out okay in the end.

That is totally creepy! I love it.

I totally love this! It is so awesome

This is really heating up! I love just how horrifying it is

Love it. It's a little different. The only thing I can suggest is to watch your tenses. You tend to switch them from past to present.

TWICE I tried to review this chapter... Once after I finished the last one, and once the day after. Anyway, this will be my third time repeating all this *grumbles* So anyway, I laughed when Ray threw out Pam's picture, but I don't know why. And I guess Wayne is getting the anger management he so desperately needs. Well, good work. I will miss this story SO much! Make sure to post some new stuff sometime hehe.

Great final chapter! Damn, I liked Billy. *cries* lol that's so typical for me to like the character that kills everyone... Wow I have some real mental issues! But moving on, I'm glad Wayne and Sydnee were alive in the end, and Elsea was damn creepy. I'm glad she died. Everything seemed to fall into place in this episode, great work. And thanks for the shout out. I feel so loved lol.

oh i luv this story please write more and please dont wait till a month to write