FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Anthelia White 2004-08-29 ch 1,  | abuseThe flow in this one seems a bit choppy... maybe you should try using an aabb rhyme scheme instead of abab. Anyway, I like this part a lot. "Puppet master, the trainer of hearts You hold my pieces together with your string" I just love that. ~Bekkah |
| kaika switched 2004-07-25 ch 1, | abuse"Puppet master, the trainer of hearts You hold my pieces together with your string Let me go and they will all fall apart and for my broken heart the demons sing" I loved those lines the best. It's so easy to picture and understand what you're feeling. Keep writing! |