FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| fadedrainbows** 2005-11-19 ch 1,  | I don't know why the poem truce replaced my poem the sickness.. i'll try to fix it... in the meantime read my other poems |
| Chris Taylor 2004-11-20 ch 1,  | never really thought of sickness this way, makes me think of suicide, but maybe that IS the sickness? ( i dunno, it gets kinda weird with my head bein as crazy as it is, one second happy, the next CRAZY @_@), oh well, this was good though, i think i'm gonna add u to my favs, this was GLORIOUS! The King of the Assclowns |
| joshtheboss91 2004-08-22 ch 1, | Awsome I love it |
| jemraja 2004-08-06 ch 1, | great rhythm n rhyme if yu read it out loud ^^ never read a poem on just taking the medication - without trying to kill yourself, or some other dark twisted idea... this is different yu've expressed the pain v well too! n i think 'tell my mind to sleep, breathe in real deep' soundz better with the real - coz then the syllables r closer to each other - just about the same - jst change the breath to breathe |
| xxDarkEnchantressxx 2004-07-05 ch 1, | I like this. I like all your poems lol. hm... con/crit... oo i know! Tell my mind to sleep, breath in real deep, And wait for the sickness to pass. Change this to: Tell my mind to sleep, breathe in deep the word "real" disrupts your flow, and breath is the noun but breathe is the verb. |
| Piper-Girl 2004-06-28 ch 1, | What was wrong. Sounds awful. I've felt that a couple of times too. Not too great. you should really be more creative with the title. Interesting, but I find it doesn't catch your attention very well except to wonder 'What the hell?' |
| aknightsgoldenrose 2004-06-28 ch 1, | lol I love it. It really sums it up. |