| Reviews for Violet |
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Escape Velocity 7/21/04 . chapter 1You seem to like themes of violent love, and once again have explored it satisfactorily. The metaphors are, as always in your work, pitch-perfect: the idea of an attractive boy as a king denotes his power over the narrator, and the attraction felt as predatory ("I was easy prey...") signifies the later violence of their relationship. Personally, I think stanza four could be strengthened: I thought the word 'nasty' clashed with the strong words of the poem, as it is, in my opinion, an insipid, weak and cliched word. It's a childish word in a grown-up poem, but doesn't work to offer insight. I think its ommission would be a good idea. (If this sounds harsh, I'm sorry - but your bio did say you appreciate constructive criticism, and this is only my opinion). The rest, though, is fabulous. Write on. |
swift sky silver 7/2/04 . chapter 1violet... my favourite colour. though i never wrote a poem on it as u did. you did well. keep writing 0) |