 OryssaV 2004-07-05 . chapter 1I think this is a really nice poem... the first and second stanzas are very interesting although somewhat dark, touching something deeper than just dance and reality of life. Life could have been compared to a dance, could it not? And The capitalization of the word "Dance" does make it clear and pointed, as in the word means more than we usually associate dancing with. It is a nice touch in the poem.
Sometimes I get the feeling as if your lines were incomplete, like there is something missing. Usually it is the absence of a verb that makes it sound like that. As you go into the third and fourth stanzas the ending "tion" is just giving me a headache. |