I chanced upon this...yeah. i've decided that i like it very very much, and i like also the long review that other person left you. you should put stuff on fictionpress again.oh and this story, it's really, really... good. i like it a lot...

Quite the creative piece you've got here...very beautiful. I don't know, most people would see it as a guy not wanting to see this but, and this might just be my mis-perception, but it seems to me as if the person you are guiding in it is the girl herself, doing the whole outer body experience. Watching herself, her life, her death, her torment...I'm not making sense now, well I am to me but that's not the point. This was a very good piece of literature that deserves a long and descriptive review.
You've got some amazing imagery here and I don't mean by describing how loud the music was and all that stuff I mean by the way you described the look in her eyes or the lack of one. The way you described her target of view and how nothing seemed to change though so much did. Like the clock being broken and such a thing could happen still. Quite metaphorical, and again I could be misreading it, but it is quite deep to run into where time seems to freeze as things happen to us, good or bad. I'm rambling again...
I also quite liked how you still managed to be so eloquent with your words even though you jumped in the timeline, and still managed to get the point of such a short piece across. Like "Flash to later," it took so much from the detail yet added so much to it.
And the way you wove in and out of the plot, quite ingenius. You started with the music, you ended with the music. I'm going to say she because I believe it's a she, She entered the room with "a knob that turns too easily and slide open the door that slides too readily." and she left the same way. It took the reader on a video if you will, it played it and just at the ending pretty much rewinded it. I don't know if that's what you were going for but when I do that, it's what I intend so I'm going to take a wild guess that you were going for something along the same feel. Finish where you started.
Well I think this is a marvelous piece and I'd definitley reccommend it to anyone who'd care to read and think at the same time. Take care, great job, and good luck!
Love,
a.twisted.soul
~I do hope you enjoyed the long review heh.~

Wow... that was amazing. It's got powerful images, AND it's written well! Congrats, this is great!

Good description, and good way of setting up the mood that something unusual and bad is going to happen.

This is gorgeous, and the ending was unexpected - which only makes the whole piece that much better. I love it, very much. The "couple" was like a metaphor for this guy and life, and it made sense that he didn't want to watch. Absolutely stunning piece of work, keep writing.
Gabby

A powerful story, yet I believe it merits a higher rating than a 'G.' It was quite potent.

Disturbing, but well-writeen. And yes, I could picture it. ^_^ I like the ending, it's like a cliff-hanger and gives an air of suspense.
P.S I know I'm being rude or something, in my language there's a word for that "kapal" (no, it doesn't mean rude. But it's closer to what I'm being right now.) But can you review my story "Mysteries?" It's my baby and I do want more opinions.