Yes, I must say my poetry has something of a tendency to be on the trite side...but that is merely one of the styles in which I write. It's more about structure and phrasing more so that precise emotion. I dashed this little piece off the night before for an assignment for my religious thought class in which we were required to spend some time looking at the night sky and write about it.
Whilst this was pretty, I'm afraid I found it to be pretty dry and very hokey. The usage of the night sky has just been done to death. No offence- you have a good grasp of rhythm and structure, but I personally felt the way you expressed the subject matter was kind of cheesy. Sorry ^_^.
FictionPress.com - let the words flow
