   ArchAngel-Emo 2007-06-22 . chapter 8God! This story kicks major ass! I love it!
I'm sorry, i would have reviewed to all of the chapters before this, but I had half decided in my mind that I was just going to wait until the end to review...
But once I saw the name Donnie Darko typed across the screen, I flipped. I mean, that is absolutely my number one favorite movie! No other movie that I have ever watched has topped it on my favorites chart!
Sure, it was confusing the first time I watched it, and I was surrounded by 16 year olds that had all seen it like, 20 times before. They all got it, and I'm not going to lie; I was confused to hell.
But then I borrowed it from a friend, and I watched it over and over constantly, and I eventually got it.
I'd have to say that my favorite character in the whole movie is that demonic bunny, Frank I think his name is, and he is a creepy guy in a big bunny costume, but hes MY creepy guy in a big creepy bunny costume *hugs plushie of Frank*
Question that I could never seem to get the answer to... maybe it was because of the angle that i was sitting at or maybe it was because the plasma was just to big... but what color is Frank's bunny costume? to me, it looks like a weirdo puke/forest green/dark green color, but my brother says that its black... eh?
my brother says that he has some friends that look like Donnie, and I told him that was just fucking creepy...
But when i was watching the movie, I said "Dude, Donnie is awesome!" and my friend Dave goes "you only like him cuz the actor playing him has kissed other guys in other movies" and I was like "No, i like him cuz he looks like someone from Thomas and the Magic Railroad..."
That got everyone laughing...
but yeah, listening to System of a Down's CD, System of a Down, really works with this story... not lyric wise *okay, so maybe some* but i just think that the emotion im getting out of the guitars and drums works with the anger in this story
anyway, i just dropped in to give a small review, and believe me, this IS small compared to what i normally leave for people.
I cant wait to finish this story, and if i find anything more that draws my attention, I will review... otherwise, i wait till the end...
by the way, i have this feeling that either she is going to hook up with Josh, and break a bunch of laws, and yada, yada, yada, or he is going to turn out to be the same thing that she is... um Carthian? i think thats what it is... oh well, it never sticks in my head... to many alien things... lol..
well, anyways, i'm off to the other chapters, cuz i really want to finish this today, but i probably wont... gah!
Great job!
- ArchAngel-Emo -
Ps.
iTs FuN tO gEt HiGh On PiXiE sTiCkS! w0oT! |
 Bloody Brow 2006-12-22 . chapter 1Hey there, this is a really good story. Cassie's inner voice makes her seem very real and sympathetic, and your writing style has a good flow.
One thing to improve upon though (and I don't know if you already have, this is just the first chapter) is that some of your sentences go on for longer than they really need to. An example of that is this sentence: "getting up at 6:20 am by the most irritating sound ever created wasn’t exactly something that I enjoyed much" while there's no major problem with that, something a little less wordy like "getting up at 6:20 by the most irritating sound ever wasn’t exactly something I enjoyed" would probably be best.
Other than that, though, your story shows real promise. It's interesting, and you clearly have talent as a writer. |
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