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| Make me with Beautiful Line... 2005-04-02 ch 1,  | abuseagain, interesting. i hadnt read one about a homeless girl either. i also like how the homeless take can either be real or a metaphor, but the poem sounds good both ways. ok nice job. |
| Arutha 2005-02-17 ch 1, | abuseThat's a very well written poem; the punctuation is very ungrammatical, and I love it ;P The period after loniless REALLY enahnces the meaning of the word. The beginning reminds me of a question I once heard in church or on TV or something, "What if Jesus was a beggar on the street?" People just don't give a damn anymore, and it sucks. The poem, on the other hand, rocks; keep it up as always ;P |
| Ciaro 2005-01-10 ch 1, | abuseSimple, short, and to the sad point. Quick and slightly brutal with the honesty. Very much enjoyed. I will check out other works of your's. -Ciaro |
| Meg Spalding 2004-12-02 ch 1, | abuseYou may have just made this up for the heck of it, but I think it's really great. Presents a good mental picture. . *meg |
| simpleplan13 2004-09-11 ch 1, | abuseit's interesting.. I cant tell if its about like an anorexic or a homeless person... either way awesome poem |
| Cry Tears of Darkness 2004-08-17 ch 1, | abuseaw! so sad! i wanna live in a world all of my own... i like this poem, nice analogy |
| Eternal Lianya 2004-08-02 ch 1, | abuseI think it's really good. Yeah, what you said though, about fooling around on a piece of paper…we all do that, and sometimes, that fooling around turns into one of our best stories or poems. Just keep doing that because it allows you to really get inspired (or maybe that's just nights with no sleep). Hehe, I thought it was really good. |
| Eternal Light101 2004-07-18 ch 1, | abuseAmazing. I love how you used the metephors in this poem. I swear to god your poems keep getting better and better. Keep up the GREAT work. Flames Out Eternal Light |
| Mrs.Loukopoulos 2004-07-14 ch 1, anon. | abuseEmmy, I really enjoyed reading this poem, but I feel sorry for this girl. It reminds me of this girl/teen who sits on Robson sometimes Granville Street, and asks for change. She always looks tired, and dirty. I wonder what happened to these people to get to such a state? |
| Jason Daniels 2004-07-13 ch 1, | abusei agree with glass of water well done (but when where fooling around is when we write masterpeices) live on the edge... |
| glass-of-water 2004-07-13 ch 1, | abuseIt certainly doesn't seem as if this is a poem created out of fooling around on paper. It's excellent! |