hmm. surprise indeed. well done. update soon.

I like Am. This is kinda neat.

Am isn't a moron... you've really done well in protraying him as a big, shoot-first-ask-later, lady-chasin', intelligent character. Besides, it's good for you to try out a new mold. And... you have a villian! I know Gibbons is also a villian, I know, I know... but with Scorpion, the story has to do more with the Lena/Tyger dinamic and the way she thinks and such. Here, you have a character who isn't mentally odd, who's bacially as close as I think you can come to a normal Joe (Ryu's special and you know it). With a normal guy, the story is focusing on the other characters, and on the external things. I'd really suggest you keep with Am's POV... it's making this story a very interesting break from your norm. I love seeing how his mind works, especially since it's not the main feature of the story.

Cool use of descriptive words in this chapter. It's been a while since I've found time to sit down and read your writing, so I must ease back into the DragonLady-ness of it all . . . :D

Well, I'm back. I know it's been a while. My excuses: college and a hurricane named Ivan. I'm really sorry about not reviewing in a while.
Anyways, this is a very good story so far. I like how you are addressing bigotry in this story, and how people can be so mistrusting. Update soon?

Very informative. I did notice some repetitive phrases, like "relentlessly without stopping"

The end of the first para is typo, isn't it?
Generally in my experience, big, fast people don't wear out all that quickly. They've got a ton of muscle that keeps them up, if they're in shape.
Everything has an economy. Barter economy, etc. thats.. a wierd point.
You've got your share of grammatical errors. Get with an editor before you try to send it off.

I'm going to come out of this with a reputation for being nit picky, but...
He could have mentioned to Glass that he could take out the door.. to show off his machoness, and trying to be the big "I can protect you".
Bolo? What are bolos?
He doesn't glance at phantom if he doesn't see him, rather where he should be.
I like the thing about pain.. you needent to say it so quickly, and dissmiss it so quickly.
What's getting on his nerves?
Glass jaw? What does that mean?
You've got your share of grammatical and punctuation errors, like everyone else.

::notes that he should stand while reading your stories::
Muwahahahahahahaha! And so the Phantom escapes to live another day.
I'm a little tired from reading your other stories, and becuase it is Friday after school I would prefer to be doing a braindead activity, so I can't offer much concrit, unfortunately.
I should also stop typing in run-on sentences, eh.

Good.
Glad he got away. Hee!

Interesting. Can't wait to see how it ends.

Alright, multiple crits...
Kinda lost on who R'jas and the rest of the ppl in the beginning are. Is this in a series, or is this story supposed to stand alone?
Who the heck is gibbons?
What's the point of having the buildings mushroom shaped? It makes them unstable..
What's the deal with this whole time travel ness? Or universe? That needs to be explained more fully earlier on.
Sometimes, the way you have Glass talk, its like she has no emotion. No feeling other than the hunter instinct... but that can't be true, if she has feeling and care for Grasshopper

Hey I really like your first chapter, but you refer to things that I have a feeling might be in other stories. I also have a feeling that reading these other stories might clue me in a bit more, so please email me and help me out and I'll gladly finish the rest of your story.

I wish to slap Glass. That's along the lines of 'her daddy was bad so she is, too, and should be locked up.' Aarg. Also, Firewing (The Boss), is Firewing's (Red Death's) father. It took me a while to figure out. ^^;
-
~~Mera

Cool... And Glass is a Shadowface. A Level Three, if I'm not mistaken :P I'll finish up the next chapters in a bit, got a lot of mailbox to cllean out >.>
-
~~Mera