chaichild22
2004-12-20
ch 2, anon. | abuseHey, am from LJ. Sorry, I was checking out your info and saw your website and decided to read some of your stuff; hope you don't mind! I love the story so far! Gosh, I always start stories and then completely forget where I'm going with them...ehh..not good. Congrats for actually having a plot in mind! Anyway, I was just going to say, and I know you stated that you would work on your second chapter, but anyway, to make it more dramatic, you should probably develop Karen's relationship with Carl more that way even the reader feels a huge sense of loss when he dies. Tell the story more through dialog and less through telling. Bleh, anyway, I'm done. It's great! Keep going! |
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