 lami 2004-07-20 . chapter 1 that was really good:) i can't help imagining a m/m pairing but that's just me. i like the way you kept it kinda' English dilougue wise.
in fact there are lots of good points i could mention, but i guess that would defeat the point of improvement via critique.
ah hell, i like it and i can't see any flaws.
go you. |