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| Jneeko 2008-07-24 ch 1, anon. | abuseWow! i ur story is really good! |
| Night-Rayne 2008-07-23 ch 14,  | abusewow that ending was a shocker, this is really good! |
| Unknown 2008-07-22 ch 14, anon. | abuseamazing story!! your writing has me actually needing to read more. well done! |
| Night-Rayne 2008-06-24 ch 13, | abuseHi! I just wanted to say I absolutely love this story, though I'm frustrated it ended on such a cliff-hanger! Ugh...anyways, I actually only registered for this sight so I could leave you this review. Anyways I am greatly looking forward to the next chapter, the storys wonderful! |
| noctame 2008-06-24 ch 13, anon. | abuseAH! NOT THE END ;_; |
| Gerty aka Angel 2008-06-16 ch 12, | abuseXD |
| Fiorenza 2008-03-10 ch 2, | abuseI like the interaction between the sisters, as you can see that they are good friends. Their interaction is entertaining. Her imagined scene (you said seen) is a little strange. It might be better if it was reduced to a statement that she imagined a heroic escape as opposed to describing it. |
| Fiorenza 2008-03-10 ch 1, | abuseYour character introduction would a bit be clearer if you put a semicolon between her name and "on the light", as it isn't clear that you've changed who you are describing. On the other hand, I like the ideas, (I love fairytales) and I'm pretty sure you should be able to make an interesting story out of it. |
| Fiorenza 2008-03-10 ch 3, | abuseSelene's conversation with the moon is quite confusing. I'm not sure exactly what's happening there. If you could set off what the moon seems to be saying to her in quotes or something, and make it clear that it is the moon talking, when the moon is talking, it would help. Your imagery is a little difficult to get digest quickly, but it seems to be very pretty. I like the descriptions of the clothes. |
| RioSamba Rose 2008-03-06 ch 12, | abuseooh shocker! |
| Greatheart 2008-02-26 ch 2, | abuseWhy does know one notice if Iris disappears for days at a time? Even if she is not worried about as much as her sister, she is still a princess, and I don't get the impression that she is unloved. Also, why does the fact that everyone seems to care about Auroera more not bother Iris? Is Auroera's first name Roselyn or Gwyneth? You call her one in the prologue, and another in here when the nurse re-tells the story of the name-day. At the beginning of this chapter, Iris says that she regrets taking her sister out for the day. You make it sound very foreboding, like some huge event would act as a catalyst for everything that follows. But while Iris finding out about her sister is extremely important, it does not seem to warrant the ominous statement at the beginning. |
| Greatheart 2008-02-26 ch 1, | abuseThis is good. Your writing is skilled and very descriptive. Try to avoid making it too descriptive with the heavy-handed use of flowery language. Remember, sometimes, less is more. You don't want to make it work to read. Something that may just be me being picky: I don't like the last word in the prologue. A prologue is what introduces your readers to your story and your character, so you want to end it on a strong note. "Principality" almost ruins it for me. I read it and was thinking, "principality? really? that doesn't feel right..." I think just using something like "kingdom" (while more common) would be better. I like your take on the tale of Sleeping Beauty. The story being told by the twin sister is a nice twist. I'm very interested in seeing how you will change things up. |
| Indefidalia 2008-02-21 ch 12, | abuseHeh--that isn't fair, leaving a cliff-hanger. :( But I have to say, this chapter was excellent! ^.^ I can't wait till you update! |
| mikiko_blossom 2008-02-19 ch 12, anon. | abusemy second review here, I think - but I just thought of something! if Selene's pregnant, and hasn't told Gwydion, and she's caught hugging Kerik.. uh-oh. ooh, you have me really excited to read the next chapter! -squeals- I wonder how you'll resolve this one -rubs hands together in delight- tee hee hee |
| mikiko_blossom 2008-02-18 ch 12, anon. | abuseyou deserve much, much more reviews - this is marvelous! oh please don't leave us hanging on the proverbial cliff! |