Heh, she drinks all the water? What about the rest of them? Heh. When you described Raden, saying that he fitted your descriptions...What desciptions? You didn't descibe him at all. You need to describe Raden and Naran. Or if you don't want to do that, and approach the descriptions a different way, change the words of descriptions to actions. I mean his actions were what Saran said it to be.

But other than that, great work! I love what you have here, and I think I'm going to continue reading this story!::winks:: Hope my reviews helped a little bit...-Elemental Moon

And..suspense builds. At the end, when Kara notices that something is wrong, is kind of confusing. By reading this, it's cool that you could kind of figure it out. But not really knowing. Like what I'm thinking is that the Avan case with the girl is also on of them, and Narnan and the other are capturing them..heh. Well yeah.

At the end when you say, she collides into something, you need to expand it more. I mean, what was she feeling? Did her eyes flutter before she passed out. I mean, all you wrote was that she was alone and ran out, colliding with something. It needs to be what she felt, twitching with agitation as the minutes/hours passed by waiting for her friend or brother to call her. Other than that great chapter! Heh, I want to know who this Naran is...

::nods head:: I like it so far. At the beginning when you state that they all have super powers. I really wouldn't call it super powers. Because it just kind of gives it away. Maybe putting it, like we're not who you think we are. Their parents don't know? Do they know how they acchieved their power? So Kara and Aden are adopted right? I like the names that you call them. Rolling my tongue trying to pronounce the name..heh.

Your necklaces are very creative too. Most people I know would have said something like when I use my power, this weird sign appears on my forehead...heh. Well great chapter!

why was ths dicontinued I thought it was really quite good,kind of unique too,but still quite good

hey! gr8 work!
-Nicole-