it has a good "sense" of power and mystey. I like the way it is unfinished and can be flexible to more than one situation. Good work!

Great detail and emotion; very sad.
I'm 50% dutch and my grandma moved from indonesia when she got married.
*high five*

fearell..
u must be reading from a dictionary...
where are all these "good" words cumin from...ur head?? i dun think so...hehe..lol..
good job...
nice poem...very...(wat do u say) bloody...hehe...
best wishes...(hehe..lol)
im gonna destroy u..
- hurricane r

this is great, I could feel the emotion and especially how the person feels. your poetries are good, by the way are you freinds with secretkey? I just get the feeling. and...when I said u were cute I meant in a harmless way, so don't freak out.
good vocabs: trickled, penatrated, griped. have to keep that in mind. do u read the dictionary?