wow, this is positive =P.i like it, simply for the flow, and the unique pattern of the rhyme. i have to mention how irritating it is to have someone read your own form of personal expression, tell you its crap and you shouldnt express yourself like that, and then command you to read and review their stuff. please. get over yourself. i love your writing!kitten xx

A little cliched and lacking rhythm. Why so emo? It would be better if you express your feelings in more descriptive ways and using more imagery. This just sounds like every other "you forsook me" poem I've ever read. But keep writing.
Sirius Chatham
Read and review my stuff, too