so many lines in this to love...the water verse is incredible, and naturally the last line is so right.

mezzie

very interesting, i love afi, dark imagery, and peculiar, muchly beautiful to read, awesome job

Beautifully dusty and despondent. I think I prefer this quiet, soft-spoken sort of sadness to the more common 'I feel like my guts are being ripped out with a spork' poetry, probably because I've written too much of the later category. I generally loved the 'abandoned city' theme, and the fact that you turned around a song I personally cannot stand (sorry 'bout that) and presented the ideas in a totally different way.
P.S: yeah, you found the Eliot reference. We'd just read 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock' in school, and that one line about daring to eat a peach was just irresistible.
KeLPy.

I am convinced you can do no wrong, and your talent floods through every line of this. My mouth is practically watering, Clarie, it was brilliant and unabashedly beautiful! I love it!

This is a beautifully crafted poem.
Excellent!
Keep Writing!
F.C

Beautiful, I absolutely loved it. I haven't comprehended it too well yet, but it was still so enchanting. Excellent, I'll say.