This is really cool so far. I can't wait for more! ^^ However, could you space between the paragraphs? It looks jumbled. I don't mind much if you don't, as the story is amazing, but it would make it easier to read. ^^ Please continue!

Argh! what happens next? update soon, please. I'm loving it so far and can't wait to read more.

quick question:

Are you ever gonna finish this story? I'm desperately waiting...

this sounds quite good, and I look forward to a continuation! There's only two things I would recommend:
One is to use the normal formatting of FP, As in when you press the enter bar is skips a space, like this:
lk

sjakfncjakl

It is less confusing this way, otherwise I would recomend using tabs to signify a new paragraph.

The only other thing is to not use words that you have invented, as it is most confusing on the reader, espcially on such a "informal" site as fictionpress or fanfiction.

Or instead prehaps present the words to the reader in such a fashion that it's natural for them to know what the words mean, rather than giving them a list of definitions to memorize, (also making the story alot less fun! XD.).
Anyways, I'm excited for an update, glad I could review on your story!
Lee

can you please update this story. So far it had a good plot.

Two bloody years!

*wails* How can you be so cruel!

This is abandoned then?

This is a pretty good story. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like you are going to finish it. Oh well, I'll keep an eye on it just in case you ever do decide (or get the inspiration) to finish it.

wow. relli good story. u gonna continue it? i cant wait to read more, but u havent updatd this in a while...

The story was AWESOME! I can't wait for you to update!!

Update? PLEASE! I haven't loved a story as I am liking yours in such a long while, and it has been quite a bit since I read this the first time. Could you at least tell me if you have the time and opportunity, why you stopped? My e-mails is laur_melyanna@yahoo.com. I really hope you go no soon though!

I love this... VERY nicely written. Am quite proud.
Yours,
-Uncle Luccy-kins

Oh and, I replied to chapter 2 first but as I forgotto say something, hehe. Did you make up the unicorn language, if so you are definitely my idol. I was certain of what derish makhe meant even before I knew, because I am always hopeful for the bonding situations -_-
I am so eager for the rest!
Hugs,
Laur

Beautiful! I am loving your story. Blessed my witty mind *Coughs* for telling me to check out FictionPress. I truly think this is and will be an incredible story and I hope you will update soon.
You have a true fan here already!
Hugs,
Laur.

Beautiful! I am loving your story. Blessed my witty mind *Coughs* for telling me to check out FictionPress. I truly think this is and will be an incredible story and I hope you will update soon.
You have a true fan here already!
Hugs,
Laur.

Beautiful! I am loving your story. Blessed my witty mind *Coughs* for telling me to check out FictionPress. I truly think this is and will be an incredible story and I hope you will update soon.
You have a true fan here already!
Hugs,
Laur.