I love this piece.
And you are now the third person on my favorite authors list...i only keep three people, so I'm booting one off for you.
Be proud.

I liked the first part, the way you rhymed stuff was good, but towards the end it got kinda self pitying or something, if that makes sense. That's just my personal tstes though so it doesn't really matter... But I really, really liked the first part, that was awesome