Erm, How depressing. Life doesn’t work like that.

In Soviet Russia, story review YOU!!

In all seriousness, I liked this. I thought it was very original. Almost a little scary, in fact. Keep up the good work.

(psst . . . this is the part where I ask you to review a story of mine . . .)

I liked it! you made a good point. I liked how the food ate you and digested you. The end was kinda shocking though 'you wake up and you're dead'

"You wake up and you’re dead."

oh my. what a shocking ending.

O.oWhoa.Nifty ending. 'You wake up and you're dead.' That was both creepy and startlingly revealing. A very well written essay all the same. Whoo. That made me think.

Kurry

i like it

Pretty good there. A powerful piece on capitalist existence and how meaningless it is...just kidding...maybe

'You no longer live your life...' is a complete waste of space. We'd already got that, and its clumsy insertion at the end of an otherwise carefully constructed story is a shame. Otherwise, I quite liked it really - I think at times you need to be a little careful you don't trip over yourself linguistically - but otherwise, it's a lot more effective than a red-faced rant as an attack on materialism.

wow. this was really good.I liked it.

You made your point very well. It's a bit scary.

Nice. I can't think of a better way to describe this kind of passive lifestyle -- your cereal eats you, the clock on the wall instructs you to leave... it's really abstract, but it's meaningful. Very good job, I hope to see more like it. =)

Impressive. Very bleak, but it hit's home. I guess the dead bit at the end is a metaphore. It's pretty cool.
Overall it's a discomfiting tale about what my life is going to be like once I graduate. Oh great.

Wow...wow...

I'm in shock. Amazing piece of writing you've got here. I especially love the pun of the whole thing, the way it's not you that's doing anything, it's things that are doing you. Great idea.

Please tell me the world isn't THIS bad? I mean, honestly, life stinks sometimes, but...never like this.

Very good writing. I like the style and enjoyed reading this. You can really feel the depressive mood. I found it inspiring, actually, although I think that's a little odd for a work such as this. Made me want to go write something similar and then move into a whole story about how they break out of their life and take control. I might go do that now...

Anyway, great story.

Great concept, strikingly and strongly delivered. I'd take out the obvious references to your point ("under the penalty...owns you." for example), because anyone who's intelligent will pick up on it right away. It's plenty powerful enough. Good one!

"In Soviet Russia, the vodka drinks YOU!"