|Reviews for My Depression|
| prayers for rain 12/14/04 . chapter 1
Great idea for a poem, I like it. I can identify myself pretty well with it.
| Flavor of Rain 8/8/04 . chapter 1
Just hold on a little longer, things will brighten up before too long, believe me.
| Eirien 7/27/04 . chapter 1
I just wanted to add, if you ever feel like you want to talk to someone or whatever, you are always welcome to e-mail me (I don't have any IM or whatever).
*big tearsoaked hug* Love, Eirien
| Eirien 7/27/04 . chapter 1
Very well-written and expressive, a great piece. the idea with the acrostic, explaining each letter in the line it belongs to, is a great idea, very inventive. Being often depressed myself, I can relate, though I'm not suicidal any more. You give a convincing portrayal of depression.
I'll have a look at your other account soon, but please let me say something on your pen-name here. Please believe me, no matter how forsaken you feel at the moment, or how bitter you are towards God because of the things he has allowed to happen in your life or the lives of others: you are not forgotten. You are a beloved child of Christ, and one day you will come to realize how his eyes weep with you every tear you shed and he feels every stab of pain you have to suffer. This might be hard for you to believe, so I just want to let you know that I've been going through a lot of hard things in my life, and am still in the midst of some of them; sexual and emotional abuse, eating disorder, depression, self harm, to name just a few. There were times, years, when I felt just like your pen name, forgotten by God. Now, looking back, I can see that he has been with me even then, that he has brought me through, that there is a purpose in every pain, and even if it was not good in the beginning, God can turn it round into something good now. It has changed me into a compassionate person who feels very differently towards the suffering and lost than she did before, for instance. I still am depressed at times; I again, differently than before, struggle with self harm, for instance, but i know that God is with me through all this and he is my one and only anchor in a black abyss of chaos and despair. Without him I'd be lost, but he is there and somehow carries me through. Please have a look at my poems and you'll see what I mean. He is the one to cover me in his red cloak of shelter and protection after i have cut myself ("Red Cloak"); he is the one who wants to be a razor substitute ("Razor Touch"); the one whose own legs I saw covered in my friend's cuts when i was interceding in despair for her ("No Tear Unheeded"); the one who took all our wounds upon himself when he died for us; I hope and pray that you will experience him like that, not as far or remote or judging or condemning or punishing or whatever those wrong images of him are, but as the loving saviour who understands the darkest depression, who shares in the deepest pain, the only one who fully knows us and yet fully loves us, out of whose reach we never are no matter how far we have fallen, who longs to take our pain upon himself and give us hope. Please, if nothing else, read my story "The Unicorn", it deals with exactly the way you feel, lost and forsaken by a God who does not care.
Sorry for making this so long, and I don't know if it is of any use to you, but well, I'd just like to tell you you're loved. *hugs*