 Pink Shadow 2004-07-29 . chapter 1is there going to be more to this? It's pretty good so far.
One thing you may want to watch is throwing all the craracters in right away. It makes it hard to remember all the names and relate them to a personality. You always have to remember that the reader doesn't have all the knowlege you do about your chracters and they need to be told everything you want them to know. |