Wow. *adds to favorites*

hah he got exactly what was coming to him!

Wow, this is one insanely fd up story... and i like it!!
except the part where Andrea gets all homicidal... that was yea.. pretty scary, but she's still cool and very clever when it comes to framing people. Anyways good story.

dude
thats sick
andrea is pretty smart...

Wow Andrea is bat-** loco. I liked her until she killed some random chick that was sad but i'm glad they didn't kill step-dad cause he deserves to go to jail and become some big guys girlfriend. Yeah the narrator's mom is a straight biatch. She should be arrested for screwing a child molester or something. Anyway liked the story even though it was quite dark.

Really interesting. I love the bland boredness about it all. Your protagonist is hurting and she cares that she hurts but the way she tells the story is totally detached despite the 1st person POV. It's probably the sparse details, since it's mostly told in dialogue. Good story.

I think this story needs editing for the sake of helping readers to differentiate between different sections of the story. Once or twice, I was confused about whether or not a new scene had started. I had to backtrack and make an assumption or two.

Besides that, I like thinking that the disgusting stepdad was arrested for the murder of the store clerk. Um, was this a store in the mall? That I didn't catch, honestly. Also, I like Andrea...the way she speaks, and when she says, "I told you not to pullthe trigger, but I knew you would."
One other suggestion here: If you could make it a little clearer just who the store clerk is, since I had to assume that Virginia was the girl killed over an Icee. To be truthful, I didn't like being confused about that.
I really like the story's concept!

This was REALLY good. Like 'oh-my-fridging-god' goodness.
Cool. The evil perv dies. Sigh, why are all the stepdads seemingly perverted and abusive?

I

This is a super awesome story ! I love it. Lol.

I love this.
Bang, bang.

creepy, in a funny, indifferent sort of way.

:)

Wow..epic! Really twisted and interesting! I like how the friend is so loyal and I like how Sam is so innocent seeming. I don't know what to say but it was well written!

Ok, now everyone is going to hate me, but I don't believe in saying nice things to make someone feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The plot and the idea behind this story is great, the ending twist is wonderful, it is just poorly written. The entire thing would be great if some more time was taken on it. The story needs more descriptions, like what Marian looks like, what the gas station looked like, smelled like. Get all five senses into this thing and it will be great. I do like how he was called 'the step-dad' like a nameless monster.

Haunting. Very, very, haunting.

SO GOOD@ omg.

Brilliant!