Oh, wow. Wow. This started out having me thinking a kind of humorous Poe (thinking "The Tell-Tale Heart"), but then got really different. In a good way. Wow.

Very intruging (sp?)..I really liked this poem. Keep up the good work!

-Pippin

What an evocative piece of work. Great use of onomatopaeia.
Thank you!

wow, that was quite an interesting poem there. i liked it, though. it was witty and funny at times. it sounded like a lot of fun to write. you're a wonderful writer and i can't wait to read what else you've written.

hey darling. I think this is one of my favorites of yours. i really like the way it flows, almost in two voices but not. Es ist sehr gut, na ja? uhm, only negative thing I can say is I think you forgot to type a paranthases in one spot. but i love. keep on rockin in the free world.

@__@ *lost* Your thinking patterns way excede my own. This was an awsome piece, but it got a little confusing, what with all the parenthesis.

Very effective and disturbing. Br. I like the impression of spontaneity it gives the reader--the feeling that it was just all written down and thrown together, without being proofread or anything. In a good way! It actually makes the whole thing better.
Br.