Call me "dumb as a rock" but WWJD? what's that?

You gave the chick a groovin' kick-ass attitude. I like it. This story has full of characters who behave notoriously and interestingly with much aplomb. Great job.

Yeha, I like the starting dialouge too. Oh, the mystery deepens. Nazi? Interesting, you're pulling me deeper into the murky depths of the story.

By the way, I love the title of this chapter. Great work, dude.

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! I NEED TO KNOW NOW!

wow! that was kind of unexpected! Excellent chapter though. i wonder what the role of the girl in the story is. update soon!

Actually I wrote a review already, but there was this dumb communication problem and poof! There went my review. I won't say it sucked, but it's just a little less interesting, the characters seemed to have topned down a little, and well, let's say grown a little more... dull. But never mind, I like what you described about the girl though. Her anger was well conveyed.

Thus was really good. Your getting better at writing Lellida !
Noelle

SUPER Creepy. Whoa. That's cool... KEEP WRITING!
Nikki

I scanned through the first chapter again after reading one or two paragraphs of chapter two, and I have to give you praise again. The characters are very interesting and the first chapter really arrested my attention. It's really... really, as if I could see the characters, as if the writer was really IN it, well the narrator yes... gah, I don't know how to describe it.
Anyway, after reading this second chapter, I was wondering if it was horror, involving a swimming pool, because I never dared to go down the pool alone and this is going to reinforce the fear! I was contemplating whether to stop reading this, because it's written pretty well, that I got scared as I imagined the pool again. I already have this fear of something in pools, and now... AH!
It's really funny, the sound of the car making them nearly shit in their pants. I don't mind the swearing at all, because it really has got to do with the background of the characters, it's very inkeeping with their character. You really stuck to the narrator's character, POV, it's got pretty much depth in it. It's not too sktechy or anything. A few typo errors probably (or spelling) here and there, like "freezing exstacy" which is supposed to be ecstacy.
In all, I really like this chapter, though it nearly made me shit in my pants too. Well, creeped me out and reinforced my fears. Very wellwritten and intriguing. I'm loving it.

huh? i usually pick those things up very easily, but i didn't see racism in this chapter- maybe in the other ones? now i'm wondering what was in the water-keep writing so we can find out!

Suspense! Good chapters. I don't mind the swearing since it's only used when neccesary, which is alright. I mean, of course they are going to swear. Update soon, and check out my stories if you have some time. Thanks.
Laura

Hehe, very cool so far. Just as a side point, I think you should change the rating on it, especially if your making authors notes about the swearing... Which I don't like, but it seems authentic, so whatever. Nicely done so far, and I'm looking forward to more. :)
Keep writing
ionlyliveindreams

This is really interesting... I like the way you introduce the characters, it sounds as if you're going around in a cricle, completing the circle of characters. it kinda reminded me of my GCSE O Level English Oral (because of picture description) which is thins coming week! Meep!
Anyway, the description was good, and there was really depth, in that you really stuck to the character's POV and was inkeeping with his character. The plot is interesting too, and the characters plus plot makes the story more intriguing. Hahaha, it's rather humorous and very promising. The title's a good start too. Promising story, I'll definitely keep up with it!

smutville? lol. i liked the characters introduced so far. 'jong as dumb as a rock' lol. keep going!