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| Hershey249 2005-06-23 ch 1,  | abuseYou have this rare ability to actually write well without using complicated words or expressions; that's something to be proud of. :) I always have a bit of a hard time not being "overly poetic", if you will, and wanting to add in a descriptive word that, while it may sound cool, does add to the "snooty factor." ^_^() *cough* Anywho, I kind of sat there for a minute, just thinking, after this. I somehow wasn't expecting something this dark after the first one I read, but it just goes to show people are more versatile than I give them credit for. There are a few things you could tweak to make it even better, though. One thing is one I can really, REALLY sympathize with, which is the lack of synonyms. Sometimes repetition is good, but mostly when it's intentional. You use a few words a bit too often, like "sting", "shine," and the phrase "never know". Don't pick something overly gaudy, but you'd be amazed at how much an online thesaurus can help sometimes. Good luck, and if you don't change it, it's still really good anyway. :P |
| nishasha 2005-05-16 ch 1, | abuseThat was so sad! Alas, I am upset. The poor star. I will never think of a meteorite the same way. Argh. How upsetting. |
| find-nowhere 2004-09-13 ch 1, | abuse... |
| bookwormish 2004-08-26 ch 1, | abuseYou write way too well... this is really good. I love it. It has such a neat rythm and style. Once again, Darn you. I want to be able to do that. I suppose I should give a soda...*gives you orange soda*.. but only cuz I liked it! ~kitish |
| Rose 2004-08-25 ch 1, anon. | abuse^^ Its a great poem, I hope you keep writing more in the future, there are few with your talent, and fewer with your personality. Dont ever stop writing ^^ and dont ever change for the world. I thank you for being a friend, even in the strangest of circumstances, I hope one day to write to you again. Rose |
| Rose 2004-08-25 ch 1, anon. | abuse^^ Its a great poem, I hope you keep writing more in the future, there are few with your talent, and fewer with your personality. Dont ever stop writing ^^ and dont ever change for the world. I thank you for being a friend, even in the strangest of circumstances, I hope one day to write to you again. Rose |
| The Moribund Marionette 2004-08-04 ch 1, | abuseWow. I really felt something with this poem. It was very well written, and I loved it. Very good. Keep up the creative work--check out some of my stuff if you have time. ~Writer of Darkness~ |