haunting... good work again.

Hm. This strikes me as a good beginning for a haiku story. The ending leaves a lot to the imagination and pulls the reader in, so good work !

It really conjures up an image os someone simply understanding and being there for a troubled loved one. The method of not revealing the event is simply delicious and suspenseful! Short, sweet and leaves an impact on the reader. Awesome.

Very good Haiku. I love the mystery of the 'thing' that has happened. It could be good if you make a sort of serial? With each chapter having one haiku on it - which replay the past? Overall - a brilliant Haiku. Well done! ~David~

Did someone die? Awesome Haiku!
-Alareic-

I read this one a while ago... I guess I never reviewed... anyways its short but sweet and sends a strong but short message. Like a good haiku should=D
-Lost

nice...very, very nice will

Good job. I like it. Now, about your review, I know that I shouldn't sound like a critic, it's just that I have written a lot of haikus and have developed a sense as to which ones sound right to me. However, if you thought that your haiku sounded right, then that's fine, it doesn't matter what I think.

haiku...erm...very nice, tells a story in a way.

*whoa* I like how it is not so explicit and leaves room for the imagination... nice haiku.

Nice job. I like it. I got a new story posted if you want to check it out. I like this.

I love the mysterious yet tragic feel of this piece. The way you intentionally left it hanging was even more tragic.

I like how you left the "something" entirely up to the reader. It gives the whole piece more meaning and allows it to appeal to a larger audience (everyone is allowed their own "something"). Great job.

short but beaUTIFUL

Short, but despairing and sweet at the same time (if that makes sense...maybe I'm rambling again) It makes me wonder WHAT happened, but it's kind of nice that you don't explain, leaves it to the reader's imagination...
keep up the good work!
jalisco-psyche