Wow. This is a distrubing thing, if ever there was one. Good job. You have a remarkable ability to twist words around to your own designs and things that shouldn't work together do. It creates an almost dreamlike state for the reader, making your message strike the subconscious first and foremost. It's unique and a bit unnerving. You definatly know how to shake things up.
You *may* want to consider adding a bit more cohesion to this peice. Not much, mind you. But a little. It's easy for the reader to lose track of what's going on. But that's just a suggestion and isn't really that necessary. With our without changes, this thing is massive.

woah...kinda confusing, unpredictable, but something in there really cuts through me. maybe its the description, maybe it's the sincerity, but whatever it is, it's really good!