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| Tateras 2006-05-02 ch 5, anon. | abuse.....................I hate you. |
| Tateras 2006-05-02 ch 4, anon. | abuseWha! T_T Please please please update son! |
| Tateras 2006-05-02 ch 3, anon. | abuseThat was a nice description of the smells and sounds. Oh and Guy/Guy Love. You are awesome. *Worships* |
| Tateras 2006-05-02 ch 2, anon. | abuseI like the Description of Tiathen at the end. He sounds really sexy. |
| Tateras 2006-05-02 ch 1, anon. | abuseNice. It's a little wordy, but you have a good Idea. Keep up the good work |
| Mya von Dor 2005-04-15 ch 4,  | abusehmm...first Ranier loves him like a son, then suddenly it's a whole heck of a lot more...without warning...but other than that, good job! |
| Mya von Dor 2005-04-15 ch 2, | abusethe whole thing with the dragon confused me...was Ranier the dragon in disquise, or was the dragon just a sort of add in, or...? Sorry about this, maybe it's the time of day, but I can't seem to get my head around this. |
| Esquirella 2005-03-11 ch 3, | abuseThis is really cool! |
| Penelope June 2005-01-28 ch 2, | abuseThat's interesting...plez update soon! |
| Penelope June 2005-01-28 ch 1, | abuseThat was excellent! I can only complain on the * * and // \\, but it's ok. I got it now... |
| Kitty 2004-11-09 ch 2, anon. | abuseStill confusing but this is awesome keep up the good work |
| Kitty 2004-11-09 ch 1, anon. | abuseIt's a little confusing but it's so cool. Poor little Tiathen... |
| Mya von Dor 2004-10-11 ch 1, | abusehey, I was wondering, not like it matters to me, but why don't you want anonomous reviews? Those can be some of the best! And anyway, I wanted to say that your story so far is pretty decent, but I'd also like to point out a few things. One, I think the added symbols will get annoying and confusing, and really, if you say what they're speaking, you don't really need them..except perhaps telepathy, which is normally symoblized by *.* at least, to what I've seen. Right, another thing is, you shouldn't have to give background information before starting a story, you should fit it in as you go along, makes the story more intreguing, and makes us more curious and want to read more. Oh, and at the end, don't tell us what we're about to be able to read for ourselves, and really, it's always good to keep the readers guessing a little, it keeps them interested :) Right, that being said, I have a question, why did Talar keep Tiathen and not turn him over, if he knew what was going to happen? Does he not like to see innocents suffer, or-? And I also think if you're going to spend that much time telling about Talar and his bride, that you should talk a bit more about his upbringing, especially since I was starting to get curious as to why he hid his ears.. Or, if you don't want to do that, start the book with Tiathen as a 19 year old reflecting upon his past to get all that in...and it'd also be a good place to stick in 'world history' Right, well, that being said, I'll try and get to the second chapter when I have time, cause honestly, I shouldn't have even read the first one, cause of the amount of homework I've got for tomorrow. And I hope this doesn't discourage you, the stuff I pointed out is stuff I had problems with when I was first writing, and, well, only after writing novels for 6-7 years have I gotten to where I am now, and I don't even think that's as good as it needs to be, but that's a whole other ball of wax... |
| Red King 22 2004-09-07 ch 2, | abuseOne word. AWESOME. Three words. WRITE MORE NOW! Need I say more? P.S I hate you for torturing me with this mere segment of a story. P.P.S Write more or I will slowly go insane from longing for more... CRAZY?! I"M NOT CRAZY! P.P.P.S Really I'm not crazy, I just forgot my medicine... P.P.P.P.S Super Sexy Senior Sousa!! YAY!! P.P.P.P.P.S. Ok thats enough.. P.P.P.P.P.P.S. i rate 10.5/10 P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S did i put to many P's? |
| Red King 22 2004-08-12 ch 1, | abuseHey its Jonathan. Great story, it was awsome! Loads better than mine anyway... My main issue is it seemed like you could spend a little more time describing the king and the messenger, or whoever it was he married. Also, I wold have liked to hear more about Tiathen's child hood, possibly more detail about the bandit attack. Send another chapter soon. I will give you an 8/10 |