watch out for this writer people, he stole some of my work just giving a fair warning, steven king would truly be angry at this young man.

Good job. I am liking this story. You write a little like Laurall K. hamilton. SHe is a greate author (read her works) I believe you surpase King. personally i think that King works up his readers giving a great begining and middle and climax, but then his stories kind of jsut die. Like the ending could be better. Like he didn't finish it. I appreciat your writeing better. Cheers!
~*Angels Cry Bloody Tears*~
P.S I have written another chapter of my story. I think you will like it so come read!

This is a good start, although there are a few things that could be fixed. rite should be right, and there were a couple grammar/spelling errors I noticed. Looks to be the start of a very interesting story though ^_^