for short and'sweet' i think it quickly describes what you feel, in the way your heart beats in a situation like this. nice! i like your style, and as long as you got what You wanted to get across and the readers to see, this is excellent. i think it has everything it needs in a cute concentrated bottle of thrills. nice work.

p.s, I saw you groveling at DJ's feet for updates on her review page...*smiles* don't worry she wont torture you...too much *laughs insanely*

Great poem, could've used more description. I think you have a knack for this after all. Can't wait for more of those awsome stories. You should write more often. P.S. Did I mention that your work is amazing? You should think about writing a book or something.

kinda creepy... good though.

It's a really good poem and the idea of each line flows with the next. I think it would be better if you added more description to each line. Don't get me wrong its and excellent poem but intense description is what holds onto and audiences attention.
SuddenDarkness