   Jack Lumber 2004-08-12 . chapter 1How old are you? You repeated half of these. It was pretty funny because some of it sounded so stupid (hopefully that's what your going for). "Never date a guy more than 15 times" HAHAHAHAHA! I can hardly imagine dating someone more than once. Anyway. Check out this awesome story.
Thinking is dangerous. If you think too much, your brain might explode once you realize how screwed up the world really is. There are hundreds of religions in the world, and they can’t all be correct. Only one religion can be correct. Thus, every other religion is nothing more than an insane, blown up cult! Think of huge religions like Buddhism and Christianity. Only one can be right. So when the world ends, BOOM!! Thousands of people go to hell.
Now that means there are tons of people who just made up some hokey set of laws and beliefs and got other people to believe them (I’m looking at you, Mormons!). I want to meet these guys! How did they do it!! I want to have that kind of persuasive power!
Or say I was in an airplane and I was flying and an asteroid hit me and blow in to so many pieces that nobody knew what happened to me. Then some guy could come along and say, “Well he must have just flown to heaven!”
Skip forward a few hundred years.
Now, every Sunday, people are flocking to airports and bowing down to the plane and then some guy stands on the plane and says, “The great pilot will someday return to earth and fly us all to heaven on a giant plane!”
Now people worship me and wear necklaces with little miniature planes on them and my face is on stained glass windows and people tell their children the tale of the angel who was able to fly to heaven because he was pure of heart and helped the weak. ALL BECAUSE SOME CHUNK OF ROCK FELL FROM THE SKY!! Very odd.
Anyway, I started writing this because I was bored and decided to write whatever I was thinking. So ill write some story that has no plot of the top of my head:
Justin White was a very odd person. He was obsessed with anime and liked to die his hair blue and make it spiky and walk around commentating on everything he saw. He loved to eat raw oranges (can you believe somebody would do that?) and often took long walks on short piers. He was also dead. He had a friend who was exactly like him in every way. Besides all these oddities, Justin was very boring. Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t like reading about boring people, so we will just forget about Justin (he was dead anyway, so I could write much)
Hm…Elizabeth Black was a very normal person. She loved to fly around and pick the apples that grew on the traffic lights (she swore they were their, but nobody believed anything she said). If you were to meet Elizabeth you would probably end up in a heated conversations on the price of bananas in Tahiti. Now, you may be thinking, Elizabeth doesn’t exactly sound like an ordinary girl. We’ll she was. You see, in the town were she lived, most 16-year-old girls could fly and had hallucinations.
Most of this was accepted as being perfectly normal, that was, until one day…the day Elizabeth discovered the dark secret about her father.
Elizabeth was having a very bad day. There must have been something in the Strawberry Meatloaf she had for breakfast (their was, it turned out) because an unusual amount of cotton balls were floating around the room today. But that wasn’t all. Things were slightly different at Some Town High School. For one thing, more people than usual were wearing pink ballerina dresses today. Sure, the football players always wore them, but Elizabeth was positive that she had never seen any of the Basketball players or Drama Club students wear them.
“I wonder how many hairs Jimmy Wilson has on his head.” She thought, and proceeded to count. It turned out to be 10,503, give or take a few. He heard the door open and wasn’t happy to see the teacher, who refused to give them his name (he was a very suspicious person).
“Hello, student’s. I just wanted to remind you all to notify me if you see anything or anybody who looks odd to you. Has anybody been looking for me? No? Good. Now open your books to page 189-Jessica! Why did you open that book right away?! You’re trying to trick me into thinking you’re a good, harmless student aren’t you? Well I know! I’ll be watching you! I don’t know what you’re planning but you can be sure, I will find out!”
“But sir, I was just-“
“Silence! Don’t try to save yourself now!! You’ve already blown your cover! Foolish girl!”
Jessica decided to shut up. Elizabeth opened her book and flipped to page 189. It had a giant picture of two grizzly bears making out. The picture started to move. Soon they got up and danced around the forest. The Teacher began to talk again.
“As you can see, we will be studying the Highway Transportation System today. George, could you start reading at-“ The Teacher stopped abruptly as Elizabeth sneezed. The Teacher screamed in horror, “How dare you!! You’re trying to release germs into the air to kill me aren’t you! Quick, everybody out!”
Soon whole class was standing outside of the room waiting for experts to arrive to get the harmful bacteria out of the room. The Teacher gave a slip to Elizabeth; “You’re going to the office right now!”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes and started walking to the office. She looked down at the slip, which was a hall pass. It said, “Elizabeth Black. To office for attempted murder of her teacher.”
This is the part of the story were everything changes. This that turning point were Elizabeth, learns/finds/or does something that creates a problem that she must struggle to overcome for the rest of the story. But that is so cliché. So am I going to do that? Of course I am!!
As Elizabeth walked into the office, she was surprised to see that the principal’s (Mr. Anderson) office door was open, and her father was standing in front of the desk. Flanking her father, were two huge men. She couldn’t help hearing the conversation.
“You have to put more of it into the food!” her father said.
“What’s wrong with the dosage we have now? They seem to love the food!” Mr. Anderson asked.
“But they’re not getting addicted to it!” her Father said.
“But I don’t want to give them too much!”
“Yes, and I don’t want to have to put a bullet down your throat!”
“But sir-“
“DO IT! Or I’ll get a new principal of Some Town High!”
“Ok! Ok! I’ll do it…could I purchase some from you now? I’m nearly out.”
Her father’s voice changed to a nice, business tone now, ”Sure, how many kilo’s?”
Now it doesn’t take a genius (which Elizabeth wasn’t) to figure out what’s going on here. Her father (and, as it turned out, her grandfather and great-great grandfather, and her great-great-great grandfather, and her great-great-great-great grandmother, and her great-great-great-great-great grandson (he would eventually go back in time)) had been putting cocaine in the schools food so that when they were older, they would be addicted to it and would buy cocaine from him. He was the Mob Boss of a huge drug ring in Some Town. So, as you’ve probably figured out by now, she decided to try and stop it once and for all. |
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