Hey this is really nice but you can do more, I'm don't know much about poetry but this seems to be on the subject of someone being beaten, you've described the victims physical state well, but what about her emotions? There isn't a lot of sympathy for her because, well to be honest, i dont feel as though i've connected, if you get what i mean. I'd appreciate it if you could R&R some of my stuff if you can.
~ JD

Great detail and imagry, I could really feel it. Keep up the good work.
Much love,
Juliet.