Wow.

This is probably one of the most refreshing storylines I've read in ages. The concept is incredibly fun and highly intriguing; I hope some day you will finish it.

I have to say that above all things I enjoy the names you designate to the characters. Lita? Soramimi? Ghoti? Ghost? They're the kind of names that have such a character to them that they become memorable in the minds of the reader. Corny, they seem at first, but once you get into the story you think nothing else is more appropriate.

The quick pace of the story is nice overall, though there are a couple of instances where I thought things moved a little too quickly to be rational. Sometimes the quick pace of reasoning in the beginning also seemed a little unlikely. Overall, though, your work is excellent.

Yet I must curse you, nonetheless. I saw the link and thought, "Oh, I'll just read a chapter and see" but, one chapter turned into many until the wee hours of the morning. No, you just couldn't put a warning notice on it to let people know you couldn't read just one chapter and stop there when 22 others were available. I did have to get up at 5:30a.m, you know. You shouldn't do that to people. So curse you.

Grudgingly, I admire this one. But you're still on my list, dear. I do so love wars. We should have coffee. Thanks for the attention you've showered on me. I feel so loved.

You're going to have to forgive me for nmy review of your Darken story now. I read this before but forgot to review and now I've found it again so here I am.

I like this story, I like the idea that someone can make something they believe in real, I like the...implications. You get away with the vagueness because it suits the story. The only major critism I have is that your characters don't talk like eight year olds. Sure they could be smart and know about gravity and stuff but they're unlikely to explain it the way your character did. 'Semi concous state' and 'dissolved bindings' didn't seem like kids phrases to me. Apart from lapsing into adult wordings every now and then (esspecially with Ghoti) this works very well. I like. You'd better be doing something original with these two I don't want to see them wasted.

Hey! I stumbled on this story earlier today, and the beginning sure got me hooked. ^_^

Your storyline is really really interesting, and I liked the way you mixed surrealism, a touch of real life, and slight humour in this story. I really had the feeling of Wonderland going on there.

And I love Lita and Mimi!! ^_^ (Somehow they remind me of the Fairly Oddparents.. =P) But you really developed the characters well, and I applaud you for that!

Though, it was a pity you didn't develop Chris and Candy much. I was beginning to like them. =) But you ended it nicely though, with a slight cliffy there.

Another thing. I realised that you're writing in first person narration, and you used it to your advantage and increased the story's effect. ^_^ Though, you should be careful, because you seem to be changing from past to present tense, then back again.

And there's something else.. What's "Ghoti" got to do with "Fish"? Pardon my lack of general knowledge.. but what IS a "ghoti" anyway? =P

Anyway, I really liked this story, and the storyline was really something. ^_^ Keep writing, okay? (And thanks again for reviewing my story, Lost in the Winds. ^_^)

And I apologise if this review was too lengthy!! ^_^;; Good luck, and have a nice day!

~Kaze of the Sand

Oi ve. This chapter gave me goosebumps.. I have no idea what's going on, but I really liked this chapter anyway.. *shrug.* Very well-written. You write so well. Uh.. anyways, yeah. Can't wait to see the next chapter, as always.

Nice chapter. I just love the way you write. It's.. spiffy. I still want more Kyaku. I'm just the freak over here who loves her. Heck, I love all your characters. They just... are so loveable. Just... are. So. Once again, I cannot wait to see another chapter of my favourite story. ^_^ Which is uh, this one, by the way. x)

Hehehe, maybe I was exaggerating... everyone is odd in their own way. But i'll always think of myself as insane-to-the-point-of-constant-hallucination. My sister is a walking undead you see, and my little-est brother is a minor fire-mage. He makes the most spectacular witch-light! Even though he's only...er...6 months old?? Or 4... wait, how old was Tayla before I mauled her again... eh.
And I myself am a shape-shifter! My only set-back is my mum always sees me as a cow, and whilst in animal form I'm addicted to pitch black, shiny things! I like being a crow best- it's fun to have staring contests with the little peewees'.
ANYWAY, I love your story!! My fav character(s) are Lati and Ghoti/Adrian- alot of other authors ask that. Don't know why I put this here either...eh.
Todays word is: eh.
Wow! Personal best for biggest review! Feel proud! You got a whole paragraph to yourself!!
Dusk-in-rant-mode
Rah.

Woah, very cool chapter. May I say, very well written.
"Yes, ma'am." Piece of wit courtesy of Chris.
I don't know why, but I just loved that sentence. It was.. I dunno, written well or something? Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter. As usual. I'm hoping soon to find out more about Kyaku, seeing how she's just so darned loveable. In my own opinion. So.. yeah. Overall, awesome chapter.

Well, you have a 'screaming fan' now, so if anyone else asked you can say you've had experience. Not that anyone would i suppose...am i the only weird one?? O, suspense! Cool chappie!
Dusk

Should be use to screaming fans by now! Love the chapter!!
Dusk

E! I wan' more! Update Please!! Need more! PLEASSEE!
~Dusk~

This is very imaginative. I'm very curious as to why Sophia and Adrian are so... adultlike. They speak like teenagers, not eight year olds, and you haven't really explained why, other than to say that they are "intelligent". I'd be interested to know the reason for this. Other than that, I think you have a wonderful plotline and I'd love to know who "you know who" is and how he relates... Aroo!

i LOVE UR IMAGINATION!! NICE STORY KEEP UP THE AWESOME WORK!!

M.A.=SCARY! *edges away*

This is a really awesome story! ^_^ I can't wait to see what happens next...
~Claydrana Kayshin