I like this poem. Its very good. The last stanza seems a little bit forced, but other than that I like it.

Les Bonne Temps Rouler!

S.D.

Kool idea...I guess if I was a different gender, I could personify foolishness. I can be such a moron, it's not even funny.

Nice! I've been reading Proverbs too, and this poem sums things up really nicely. Oh, BTW, I found you thanks to checking the reviews for revinyesvr's "Chaos of an Outcast". I know him pretty well (in real life) and it's nice to see that someone else appreciates his writing.

very interesting, i liked the personification here, even if it appears sexist ;-) but i wont argue, im a guy and i know we can be a bunch of idiots most of the time :-) Keith Andrew

Hello, m'dearie. A fine poem through first glance, though at second glance I think I can see one or two things to critique. The first two stanzas are beautiful: they flow well, the rhymes are quite fine, and so on and so forth.

My first suggestion is a slight modification of the fourth line in the third stanza: 'Foolishness five fools makes.' Doing my 'reading-aloud test,' this one was a bit of a stumbling block. The three words beginning with F all in a row twisted my tongue a bit.

Second, I agree with previous reviewers that the last line is a bit 'out of place,' so to speak.

My only other criticism is that the last three stanzas don't have just fitting and well-put rhymes as the previous stanzas.

But I enjoy the poem, and, like I mentioned before, the first two stanzas are excellently done, and are a pleasure to read aloud for the way they flow and rhyme.

Nice, you sound a regular Proverbs 31Woman! Good job, and keep it up.

*Mr. Underhill

Nice! Again, good communication of Truth there. The last line is, indeed, a bit strange (doesn't really fit rhythmically or rhymewise), but it's a good poem nonetheless.

The last line is out of place, but the rest is great. I love the personification, and the underlying message you teach through this poem. Just out of curiosity, which version of the Bible do you read from? If that's too personal, it's okay. I'm just wondering, because with all the different versions out there, this poem can have a number of intepretations. I fully respect your beliefs and your religious choices. Please don't get offended by my blunt question.
-ttfn!

I really likes it. it's really good (gomen nasai not really good at reviews)