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| Nicole Corran 2004-08-22 ch 1, | abuseBeautiful imagery--the words slide from my mouth whenever I read it--and the rhythm and flow of the lines is smoothly eratic (if that makes sense). I've only read it twice, but it feels like I may have read it a thousand times and loved it every time. The last line does not seem to fit though--the sudden directness is nice, but it seems to change the subject. I could be misinterpreting your poem though. |
| AntiPleasure 2004-08-17 ch 1, | abuseI'm quite impressed. I usually judge too quickly and didn't expect this to be done so well. Anyways, a well developed vocabulary and a good concept. I like this line "foreignly, star-crosses her scars, sinks cheekbones" very nice. Your format is a nice touch as well, it's all over the place but you emphasize some lines EXTREMELY well. You should be proud *smiles* need more writers like you on this site. Jenna xoxo |
| Faithless Juliet 2004-08-17 ch 1, | abuseWow, I loved that. So full of imagry and detail and abstract wanderings. I really loved that, best one I've seen. Keep up the good work. Much love, Juliet. |