love it!

i dont get it, so is Holden dead or not??

Oh my god. This is such a good story but I didn't expect this to happen! It is so sad I started crying. Is Holden dead or alive? I can't tell. :( This is a great story.

im so confused. did he die? is this story finished?
this story is awesome!

well done

Pebbs

Good start here. Just a suggestion, though: If you're going to have different people talking, either put things different people say in separate paragraphs, or at least make the paragraphs shorter. It gets a little confusing otherwise.

great story, I like it a lot. It's written well too. It's rather sad, but the end of that chapter confused me...I thought he was dead, but is he? or is the story not finished yet...?

-Tainted

i thought this story was really good thanks for submitting it

wow great story. I loved it and its so incredibly sad but its a great story and well written

That was a really sad story, I liked it a lot. I think perhaps in the beginning chapter or two you could've tried to play up Holden's poor behavior prior to meeting Jessica. Also, I think the fact that one of them didn't like math and the other didn't like English was a little too fortuitous. Lastly, the ending seemed to tie ends together too well. Putting in such a sad ending and leaving a light on? If so inclined, please e-mail as to your motives; I'm intrigued. Not to be negative, though! I thought the rest of the story was great, and very poignant. Definitely didn't see the ending coming. Keep writing, you're sure to receive widespread recognition someday!

THAT WAS SOME GOOD **. I havent read a full story on this site in months and this one was SO worth it...u should b damn proud for having this.
KEEP IT UP

EXCELLENT story. Keep up the good work!

this is really good! please continue! i must know what happens next!
xoxo Rachel xoxo

I was just browsing and your story caught my eye. I like the idea, but I'd like to point out, when someone new start's talk, it's a new paragraph. Other then that, kudos to you!