Very nice... yes, i like the edited version better I think. It really would make a cool song, I'm thinking kind of punk rock. :P

nice... could be a good song. keep writing man. meaningful.

luv the way it goes together. i can kinda relate to it in a few ways.
i like the lostprophets too and coincidently i've mentioned them in my latest story (published today, "Make A Move")

I think this is really sweet and beautiful, and I felt the emotion.
Very good job, keep writing!
Akainoyume