True too true. ::))

I'm sorry but this just rocks my boat. Hehe. ::))

Awesome parody!

You do not disappoint me. :P

I'll be honest. When I opened this story, I just did it because your title, "Behind Blue Eyes," is a song by The Who. I didn't read the summary until I realized that this probably has nothing to do with The Who...

But I read, yes I did! I read, and I liked. I liked this a lot. So, props to you.

Well see that's what you don't understand, they don't choose women to compete based on their looks. When I was chosen for the Miss Indiana USA, they first heard about me based on acomplishments I made in my school and my community and sent me a letter asking if I was interested and sent me an application to be reviewed. Then they called me for a phone interview. They look at your app. and how the phone interview went and they make their selections for official contestants that way. Trust me, not all pageant girls are gorgeous either. I can refer you to plenty of websites where not only contestants, but the winner of a pageant isn't all that "gorgeous" by most's standards.

Obviously you know nothing about the pageant industry. Please keep your ignorant comments to yourself, or educate yourself before you go judging people.

Y'know, this is pretty funny stuff. You should obviously write more. (And smoke weed + pull random words from the dictionary while at it.)

Loved it. Particularly this bit:

"When the waiter came with the bill, I pointed at the ceiling and cried out, "Look over there! A duck!" and skipped out. Unfortunately I crashed into the lobster tank as I was making my attempted getaway and now I’m banned for life. That makes 12 now."

Abso-bloody-lutely hilarious

I'm new(ish) to fictionpress, so I don't know where all this ranting in your reviews for this come from. Maybe I'll find out, maybe I won't. That's not the point, though.

Personally, I found this hilarious. Not exactly earth-shaking, but I doubt you intended earth-shaking-ness, so I certainly don't hold it against you. And I love the post-y (for lack of a better way of describing it) format: the decidedly un-medievalness of it is amusing unto itself.And I love the feminist princess for the same reasons. Please update!

"ASSHAT" = Pure Genius. You rock, man...

Wow this is quite something. Firstly, you manage to create a piece of work which reads effortlessly. Then of course, there's the humour..I really enjoyed this =D

First off, don't call me 'kid' - you know nothing about me. Secondly did I not make it perfectly clear never to go near my work again? I accept proper critism but not snide, self-righteous and sanctimonious remarks from the likes of people like you. However, thank-you for your views on the story. You seem to have a point - but you should consider - has this happened to you? No. Do you know the exact emotions? No. Therefore, you have no right to contradict me.

And how can you say that I have a circle of brainless admirers? Now that is certainly not the attitude of a good writer. Have you even looked upon their work. No. You don't have a clue do you? I am ashamed that I even replied to your flame now - you disgust me.

I notice you are immediately ready to criticise reviewers, here is a quote from you:

'"This is an intense, concentrated powerful story. The words and rhythm work together to satisfying effect. I'm looking forward to longer pieces by David Stephen so he can explore his talent more fully", which almost sounds like you paid someone to write a nice little advertisement for your story. Lovely.'

Right - may I start by asking you, whether you are a successful published author? No, I take it you are not. The reviewer who left that review is actually a highly regarded and successful teenage writer, Sherry Ashworth - and if you are saying things like that about HER, who is more talented than you can think - you are a stupid little insignificant person, aren't you?

You will also note that Melvin Burgess, another highly successful author, left a glowing review for it. Now - are you saying that two brilliant authors are wrong - I think you are - which means you think you are self-righteous and godlike, does it not?

If the story was rubbish as you say it was, and not correct for example the emotions, then I am sure that it would not have come third in the John Watters Cup of Trafford for this year? Indeed.

I would appreciate it if you stayed away from my work - do not reply to this - I am disgusted by you. LEAVE ME ALONE!

I totally lmao when i read this. I love this story so far. Update soon

Dang. That's http://w.fantasistent.com/. Sorry. Don't know how the other two w's got erased.