please please write another chapter this was so cool ! i've never read anything like it !

Sorry I'm not signed it :) This is a great beginning. Now we have to wonder if something will magically save him or if he'll go out with Luke or what happens :) It'd be wonderful if you continued it. Great job you! :)

You ever going to update this story? Because, implausible though it is, I find the idea appealing, and from what I've seen of your other work, you're a good enough author to make it work.

One thing that I have to say is that the opeining is a bit abrupt. You could have taken the time to introduce the characters more thoroughly, perhaps show a bit of the home dynamic to intrigue us humble readers further.

Another point is that the tone of this seems slightly odd. I mean, obviously it's a tragic circumstance, but it seemed in his self evaluation right near the top like you were trying for a flippant style. The combination of angst and the trembling efforts towards humour makes it strange...

I think what I'm leaning towards in my review, is that it's a good idea, and one that I would like to see you expand upon, but that perhaps it's not being done justice with this opening chapter. I realise that I have very little right to be critical, because it's your story and you can do what you like with it, but I try to give honest opinions in my reviews.

I did like the story so far, and I do consider you a skilled writer. Whatever you decide to do with this story, good luck with it.

Hello, love. Well,I hope you still find time to update this, because it seems like the beginning of a good story.

gee...could ya update? but not b4 Telran...this can wait, obviously...i want to see what he does with his last month...poor Luke...probably is in love wit him...we shall see, HAI! ja ne! Zeero-chan!

Try and update this soon, won't you? Regardless of possible cliches, like this story already.

Know I should leave a better review, but don't feel very lucid at the moment. Ta.

Write more please its very good and i wnat to know more!

Update please? Pretty please? I'll send you virtual chocolates if you do!

Shocking, I hope you continue this.

Solita

~*stares*~ You...you enjoy torturing your characters, don't you?! That prologue just about made me cry! And I don't even know that much about the character yet! Evil! Evil author! Now update! NOW I SAY! ~*stares some more*~ Or I'll sick my army of ducks on you. ~*nods seriously*~

thats REALLY good! please update soon! until then I'll be waiting!

What?! The disease isn't real?!
Ok, all joking aside. I liked the way you used the storm as symbolism thingy...it was nicely done.
one question though, are you using the fact that Zack's in shock as a way to avoid thinking about how he would feel? Hm...
Write the next chapter! Now!
Pwease?
Love ya!
(Sorry if that was bit incoherent. I am on vacation you know :-P)
-Ember

wow, good start. I like the Idea behind this story...
Hope you update soon

Haha, how ironic - the one story I think looks interesting today on the board has a main character that has the same name as one of my own. Even the spelling and age are the same! :o) What a coinkidink. Okay, good start. It seems that Zack's point of view is sort of written like he's talking to you, which is good sometimes, but I think that if you keep saying "you know", etc., it get rather tedious. The second half is a little better, I think. It's a really good start, and I'm really interested in seeing where the romance will fall in, and if Zack will find some kind of inner peace/understanding with himself before he dies. *tear* How tragic. Anyway, it's all good for now, I hope you write more soon! I'll keep checking up on it. Great job.