Harr.

Lord Duffikus the Devourer:

While I admire your efforts, the "Chosen one who is repressed runs away from home to find his/her true destiny" opening is hugely used on Fictionpress. Let's see some differentiation in plots, hmm? There's still potential, and my creator would hate to see it wasted...humour a demon try to surprise me, will you?

Ooh. I hate to say it, but please proofread. Grammar. Spelling. May not seem important, but let them add up, and they impede the flow of reading...I'll just point out a few.

"...the captain and my father talked idolly about the war..."

This should be idylly.

"...'You are being unreasonable.' The captain told my father..."

This should be a comma, instead of a full-stop.

And that's just a few.

I'll keep a tab on this one, that's for sure. See you later.

Oh wow, i'm really intrigued now. And i must say you quotes on your... um that thing that i can't remember the name of...oh, profile... are really funny :)

oh hello! interesting...I really really like the shippets of scenes (in the present time I'm assuming) at the end. And we know she's dead so that makes it even more intriguing! I just wanted to say a small erm thing...With your summary, it seemed a bit *winces* well vague. And so I wasn't as interested in it as your other stories. But it's good, so maybe to give it more credit, hone in on what the story's about in the summary? Just a suggestion. You should probably ignore me, I ramble anyway! And interesting plot as always :) And (as I've said already on your other story) please go update assassin! :D
Love,
Carmen
P.S. You are the best reviewer ever! hehe. super fast as always, so I will try returning the compliment :)

i like it, please keep going!! I want to know where this is going to end.

I like this piece. I find it very interesting how it's both realistic and fantasy at the same time. The end of this chapter kinda surprised me. She's dead ? @.@ *gasp* She's an *angel*?? Wow. I liked the way you wrote this, you're style is very addicting. Keep it up, it's really good.
And thanks for reviewing my story, I'm so glad you like it so far ^_^

Um... you seemed to switch from from first person to third person. I don't quite understand the last paragraph, it sort of threw me off. Not to be rude or anything either, but if this is supposed to be taking place in the middle ages, around that era, I would suggust looking into that period of time more. People didn't just hang around and talk all day, they all worked. And the ones who had enough money that they didn't need to work didn't just go to the marketplace and talk. So maybe you should modernize this story and put it in a futuristic time or read up on the way things went "back then." Still, the plot sounds good so far. I think I will be keeping my eyes on this story.
happy hunting,
~Midnight Predator~