Wsfgl! That review I submitted for Chapter Forty-Eight was supposed to read, "Fictionpress (this website, incase it deletes it again) sent me an email..." For some reason, it deleted the name of the sender. Maybe the site's self-conscious.

Sorry, just thought I'd clear that up because it sounded like I was saying YOU sent the mail. I didn't want you thinking someone had hacked your email account and used it for... well, good, really, but anyway. ^^'

Oh yes. Awesome prologue, by the way. XD

HALLO THAR. sent me an email way back when, reading "update! Update!" At the time, I was doing my final school exams, so I went "glargh!", deleted it, and forgot about it. Sorry about the delay in reviewing. ^^'

Firstly.
"And me and Sam just bought a pot that kills, forages, cooks, and cleans all by itself." WIN. That's all I have to say. If you're going to solve all your characters' food-grabbing problems in one, that's the way to do it! Except, er, the pot doesn't seem to work. It may be a good thing. Who knows what those things consider to be "food"?

Secondly.
You've got no reason to be worried about your characters. They're awesome. They're so cute and dorky. XD I usually get impatient with big strings of dialogue (ironic, yes?) but I just love the banter here.

Thirdly.
If I met a horse named Et-Eet, I'd walk away quickly.

Fourth...ly?
Oh god, what's Kenny done now? XD They can't keep out of trouble, dammit!

Anyway. Sorry I missed your last update. (I wasn't there when they added the story alert feature, but you're so alerted now.) I promise not to miss the next one. Please keep going, this story is just so much fun!

interesting. i like this world you've made, you really seem to have a good handle on it. for some reason im reminded of hitchikers guide to the galaxy and halo. lol dont ask me why.

off to the other world again!
i really liked the whole language mix up thing,that was really neat.

FINISHED! Man, that was long! And awesome! Whoo. Your writing's so vivid I feel like I've had your whole world shoved through my head.

I'd just like to say three things.

One is that you mentioned a bucket "which gave off the most fowl of smells." That should be "foul." (Unless the bucket actually smells like a chicken, which wouldn't surprise me in the least, after those dragons.)

Two is that you use a lot of exotic dialogue tags, like 'shouted' and 'interrupted.' Sometimes, you should try to use 'said' a little more. It's boring if it's used ALL the time, but the other tags, used constantly, get a little distracting. This is a sort-of redundant comment for me to make, actually, because the reliance on tags was one of the things which struck me about your earlier chapters, but it's something that you've remedied slightly. Hey, I had to criticise SOMETHING! :D

Finally, my favourite part of the story is the intricacy of the world. You've got so many different races, systems and little tidbits. They're a little hard to memorise, but the great thing is that as you introduce each new facet, you give the reader time to get used to it before you introduce another one. It just makes it all that much more interesting. The variety causes the world to "live," not like other fictional worlds where everybody looks the same and does the same things.

In conclusion, this was cool when I first started reading it, and has gotten cooler constantly ever since. :D I'm sorry I couldn't review every chapter individually, but there's forty-seven of them and I didn't have the time. Maybe another day.

I await your next update.

(And thanks for reviewing my vaguely fantasy-ish monstrosity! My opinion is that you shouldn't be nice to it, or it'll think that it's wanted and will never go away, but I'm grateful for the feedback nonetheless.)

Heh, poor Sam. It must suck listening to people talk about how crap your magic is, after you've gone through all that for their world. And Lilum is adorable. "I have to take initiative!"

The fight scene in Forty-Three (I think it was then, anyway) was awesome. I really thought they were going to die. But I like Jeff, so I wasn't sure who to root for! (Nobody died, though, so that was okay.)

And now that I'm at the end of Forty-Five, I'd just like to say that I like POV changes. They give a feel for a whole range of characters, and make it less likely that one character will be super-developed at the expense of all the others. Besides, you can do them well; all your characters have a distinct "voice." So, just saying, I don't find POV changes confusing at all, and think they actually improve the story, as long as they're pointed out as they occur and don't just swap randomly. (Omniscient voice is the devil's work.)

The first part of this was really eerie. I was shivering while I read it.

The bits with Jeff and Danni are probably the most emotional part of the story, in my opinion at least. You've done a great job with portraying their relationship; it's so close and loving that it makes his motivations completely understandable, and the last bit was heartbreaking.

I'm looking forward to seeing what comes next. At the moment, I'm completely confused about what's going on, but I think it'll all come clear soon. :D

This is getting so cool. :D Your action scenes are very succinct, they're not weighed down by description, so they race instead of plod. It makes them more exciting. I won't say that they couldn't be better - I wouldn't say that about anyone, except George R. R. Martin - but as far as action goes, you're probably one of the best writers I've found on Fictionpress thus far.

And another twist! I'm enjoying the turns in your plot. They keep me guessing. Straightforward stories are boring, but in this one, people aren't always who they seem to be... OR ARE THEY?! (Sorry.)

I like the way you've segued into action after a long period of explanation, while keeping the quiet periods also punctuated with bits of movement and humour. It's like chocolate chips in a biscuit!

Your writing is really tight. You don't put anything unnecessary in the narrative, which makes it move fast and stops it from getting boring, but you still manage to say everything that needs to be said. I wish I could do that.

Also, I want a sandwich named after me.

*keeps reading*

Ah, alchemy!

From what I've seen (I'm reading ahead as I'm writing this) I like your alchemical system. It's close enough to the FMA system to be imbued with TEH COOL, but also original enough to be... er... original. I like the way you're letting your characters actually think about the intricacies of the magic, and have a little difficulty figuring it out, instead of blindly accepting it. It makes it more realistic.

Anyway, I'll continue reading.

For some reason, the "This is illegal! Illegal!" made me think of kids in a playpen. This is REALLY good. Now I shall go do my celebratory "I found a really good story" dance. Update soon!

AGAH! They're staying?! Well, of course they're staying, but they're choosing to?! These guys are alot braver then I thought, and yay Canace is back! Gah, exciting. They've started a whole new quest...! This chapter's great and doesn't feel forced at all, it actually feels like a whole new beginning.

Oh, and um, I'm really really stupid - I found this alert under a pile of month old emails yesterday and this whole time I've been annoyed at you for not updating! :hits self over the head:

Whoa. Liked it a lot. Normally, I don't read FP people's stories on recommendation--because I am simply that much of an evil brat--but I'm glad I read this. It's interesting, and I really like the freedom you've given your readers to see the characters in their heads their own way. I could never do that myself, and for once, I like reading it. Good job. Also, fun title. Titles are always difficult.

Well, it's about 2:30 in the morning for me right now, so I'm going to have to read more later... heh.

wahoo great action scene! Heh, I love Aaron... such a **up. :D I'm really really really sorry for taking so long to RR, I'm in Utah at the moment visiting Innocent Harbinger of Doom, and I think this is the first time I've come near a computer in almost a month. Maybe my review will magically cure you of your writer's block... fwaZHOOM! ...Did it work? Pleease?

This is the first story/chapter I've ever read on Fictionpress!

I absolutely loved it!! Your a good writer! Its well writen, good plot so far, good internal thinking. And who doesn't like the word Whatcha-ma-callit in the story!

Seriously, I really love the story so far!